Media reviews of any length are going to get a new feature: X out of five little mice, and X out of five brave elephants.
The little mouse derives from a thing I heard once:
Inside each person is a little mouse. The mouse does not understand complexities; it only knows that when you are kind to it, it thrives and is happy, and when you are cruel to it, it shrivels and is wounded. Your self-talk showers it with goodness or pain. It is helpless; it is a captive of your soul; it doesn’t know any better, but seeks kindness and avoids punishment.
Thus, I use this to describe whether I found a piece of media comforting.
The brave elephant represents my opinion of the work’s quality. Whether it is of satisfying substance or not. It is partly inspired by the myth of elephants fearing mice, and partly by the parable of the blind men and the elephant:
Six blind people were led to an elephant and allowed to touch it. The first blind person touched its horns and said, “An elephant is hard and smooth, like a polished stone.” The second touched its trunk and said, “An elephant is firm and twisty, like a snake.” The third touched its ear and said, “An elephant is thin and floppy, like a rug.” The fourth touched its side and said, “An elephant is high and flat, like a wall.” The fifth touched its leg and said, “An elephant is round and sturdy, like a pillar.” The sixth touched its tail and said, “An elephant is loose and hairy, like a paintbrush.” Which of the blind people was right?
Thus, my opinions. I use the elephants to describe whether I thought a piece of media has substance or some subjective level of quality. I probably haven’t covered the whole elephant, but I can give my perspective.